I’m not on Facebook.\u00a0 This has been the scourge of some of my friends, who occasionally ask me, exasperated,\u00a0“So, Ben, are you on Facebook yet??”<\/p>\n
Some of these friends are more “e-friends” than “friends.”\u00a0 They are people with whom I interact online rather than in person.\u00a0 In our lives, we tend to make distinctions in our lives between “friends” and “acquaintances.”\u00a0 The word “acquaintance” refers to someone with whom you’re not very intimately associated, while the word “friend” refers to someone with whom you’re a bit more so.<\/p>\n
So why do we not distinguish between “friends” and “e-friends”?\u00a0 Why, do we confuse “social networking” and “e-social networking”?<\/p>\n
Just because you can “social network” (interact online with someone) does not mean you have the skills to socialize<\/em>.<\/p>\n I’ve realized this as I’ve become a better socializer.\u00a0 In some of my work with Yahoo!, I’ve been forced to go up and meet total strangers over and over again.\u00a0 I’ve been forced to have conversations with them, share information about something related to Yahoo!, and sustain the conversation for some period of time.<\/p>\n I wasn’t always able to\u00a0do this comfortably.\u00a0 I’ve developed the skill.\u00a0 You start to realize it’s actually not very hard once you\u00a0thrust yourself into the endeavor.\u00a0 You learn little tactics here and there that are generally successful.\u00a0 Maybe you smile.\u00a0 Maybe you share\u00a0your name or ask a question.\u00a0 Maybe you add a little music to your voice.\u00a0 Each situation has different demands.\u00a0 But it ain’t rocket science, and you’re probably not going to die from doing it.\u00a0 However,\u00a0it may seem<\/em> a bit like rocket science and it may seem<\/em> as if you’re putting your head on the guillotine.<\/p>\n Online social interaction–that is, e-social interaction–is a different beast.\u00a0 People don’t face the same fears when sending an\u00a0electronic message to someone.\u00a0 Someone who is deathly afraid of socializing may be immortally courageous in e-socializing.\u00a0 That is just one reason why “social networking” should not be confused with true socializing.\u00a0 It should be distinguished by calling it “e-social networking,” or calling it by some other term that implies the electronic component.\u00a0 Else, we start to identify e-social networking with true socializing and think the abilities are the same.<\/p>\n Given this,\u00a0they should be called “e-friends” as opposed to “friends.”\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because according to Facebook, I have zero friends<\/em>.<\/p>\n I love saying that.\u00a0 It points out to the\u00a0hypnotized Facebook user that Facebook-friends are not truly friends.\u00a0 Many people don’t seem to recognize the difference, at least with their words.\u00a0 They trumpet the number of friends they have on Facebook as if it is a badge of their social power.\u00a0 But these people often seem incredibly socially anxious (at least relative to me) and unable to initiate a tiny social interaction without discomfort.<\/p>\n I am missing something by not doing the e-social networking thing.\u00a0 There are truly wonderful things that can come for participating.\u00a0 However, at this point, I feel that it will subtract from my life rather than add to my life.\u00a0 I live a largely meaningful life already.\u00a0 My time is usually taken up in some way or another with activities related to my interests and goals.\u00a0 That means little of my time is wasted.\u00a0 From my perspective, e-social networking will take away from time\u00a0for my meaningful interests.\u00a0 It won’t improve my ability to socialize.\u00a0 I’ll peddle in virtual friendships.\u00a0 My interest in people will seem large and extensive given a wide network of e-friends, but in reality it probably will\u00a0turn into a sadly\u00a0superficial<\/em> interest in these people.\u00a0 My knowledge of their lives and feelings will lack depth.\u00a0 While I might type “!!!”\u00a0in reference to an event in an e-friend’s life,\u00a0in reality I might be emotionless and unmoved as I sit at my keyboard reading.\u00a0 I’m putting up an electronic front, an avatar of excitement.\u00a0 I can’t pull that wool as\u00a0easily in true social interaction.<\/p>\n I’m reminded of that time when I felt a stranger of the opposite sex brush me for a second, maybe on the arm.\u00a0 It was\u00a0a reminder that there is something to touch that won’t ever be experienced when e-friendship is confused for friendship or e-social networking is confused for socializing.\u00a0 You can’t touch an e-friend.\u00a0 You can’t socialize in a virtual network.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I’m not on Facebook.\u00a0 This has been the scourge of some of my friends, who occasionally ask me, exasperated,\u00a0“So, Ben, are you on Facebook yet??” Some of these friends are more “e-friends” than “friends.”\u00a0 They are people with whom I interact online rather than in person.\u00a0 In our lives, we tend to make distinctions in 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